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Category Archives: Random Rant

Oh where, oh where, has my blogging gone?

My last post (before this one)….October 1st.

My current state…..Marvelous, Wonderful, Superfragilisticexpealodocious!!

Since refusing to give MS attention and wallow in my own self-pitiness (yes, that is a word.  It’s possibly a word I made up) I have been feeling……well, marvelous, wonderful, superfragilisticexpealodocious!!  I’m not taking any medication for MS specifically now and I couldn’t be feeling any more fabulous.  I’m still taking the Vitamin D daily and low and behold my thyroid medication was the wrong dosage so now that has been resolved for months.  I had an MRI back in December and NO new lesions and nothing lighting up showing activity!!! (activity related to MS that is, I do actually have a brain and it does function.  lol)

I got my ass in gear and joined a weight loss program at a local hospital.  I did this on November 7th.  Tomorrow I am hoping I hit the 40lbs down mark which is exactly the amount of weight I put on from the Betaseron fiasco. I feel amazing!  I won’t stop on the plan though as I have many more pounds to go.  Long-term goal is to be down to my goal weight by end of July 2013.  Short-term goal is to lose at least 10lbs a month which I have been hitting easily.  I have more energy than I know what to do with and no longer have constant thoughts about food or how crappy I look or feel.

2013 is so much better than 2012 was.  That year sucked with physical issues as you well know if you have been reading this blog since the beginning.  (ha ha ha, right!  lol)

  • I started a business of making items and selling at vendor/craft shows whenever I feel like it  (come like my page on Facebook:  Oh, Horse Feathers.  Psst, there are lots of items on sale as I want to get rid of the stock!!).
  • I’ve signed myself and my daughter up for Belly Dancing classes.  I’ve always wanted to learn but never had the guts,  It’s nice to be able to drag my daughter there since she is just the right age for it.
  • I’ve finally gotten into a few Digital Photography classes.  Maybe now I will understand what the hell I’m doing when I take pictures and how to use the lenses I have.  Those settings totally confuse me!
  • Our central Illinois winter has been non-existent so far.  YAY!!!  Yesterday was in the 60s!  I hate snow & ice so I’m ecstatic over what we have been experiencing.
  • I FINALLY hooked up Roku and Boxee to our TVs at home.  That may not sound very exciting but I put this off forever for no reason other than laziness.
  • I have been stating my ‘I Am’ affirmations like I said I would back in the last post.  I’ve done it every single day.  I am a true believer of stating intentions and affirmations.  It was worked so many times in my life.  Thank you again, Dr. Wayne Dyer!!!
  • I’m still in love with exclamation marks when I write posts!!!!!!!!  Oh, yeah!

The year will be one of the best ever!

Until next time……..

 

 

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Posted by on January 30, 2013 in Life, Multiple Sclerosis, Random Rant

 

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Feeling prettah, prettah, prettah….good

No news from me means one of two things.  One:  I’m busy as all hell or Two:  I’m feeling pretty good.  In my case, BOTH are true.

I’ve decided I am not even going to think about MS anymore.  When I do…well I feel crappy.  I know that positive thoughts can do wonders.  I wallow away in a lot of negative thoughts and so I’m trying to turn that around.  I’ve started doing some positive affirmations in the morning when I first get up.  I also am stating my ‘I Am’ wishes (affirmations) throughout the day.  (Thank you Dr. Wayne Dyer!)

My wonderful daughter is in lots of things (because I keep putting her in them.  lol!)  I’m a typical mom I imagine.   We moms will work a full-time job and then grab our kid to take them to some type of practice or event.  We get home sometime after the sun has already gone down.  We really are super-moms!!!   The good news (I think) is that I’ve been able to keep up with it.  Yes, I have days where I am feeling the MS fatigue or something, but most days and most hours of the day I feel good. Woohoo!!!!

My focus this month will be to continue the positive affirmations, to really, really try to eat conciously and to not put some things off to the last minute (like sewing pageant costumes).  Have a great October everyone!!!!!

 

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2012 in Life, Multiple Sclerosis, Random Rant

 

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Sleepy Time

I don’t know about you, but the last week and a half I have been soooooooo tired.  It usually hits me about 1pm or so and gets worse and worse throughout the day.  Like right now……  I could seriously just lay my head down and fall asleep.  But, I can’t.  I have things to do of course.  Life!  Jeez, it gets in the way all the time.  My allergies are also in full swing and I keep forgetting to buy more allergy medicine.  I think not taking it is actually leading to the fatigue I’m feeling.    Who knows really?!   Having a multiple of mystery symptom diseases I could just blame it on a handful of those and just be done with it.  Excuses I have aplenty.

Speaking of excuses, I really do have a lot when it comes to myself.  Me, myself, and I.  I find it extremely hard to focus on myself and fixing things that are broken with me.  I focus all my attention on my daughter and I can’t seem to stop.  I love her and I spoil her.  That’s just how it is.  I’ve piled myself (and her) with activities almost every single day.  It’s pretty draining and obviously is not keeping stress reduced for me.  I’m driving her all over the place for different things.  Why do I do it?  Because I want to give her every opportunity to excel and enjoy her life.  I don’t want her ever to have regrets because she didn’t get to do something or learn something while she was growing up.  She’s spoiled….truly.  But she’s not a brat and that makes me super proud.  She’s a GOOD kid.  A very good kid and I’m totally proud of her.  She’s also my best friend and has been since she was born.  She’s my life and she’s my heart.

Obviously you can see where all my attention goes.  Not much room for anything or anyone else.  I forget that maybe I need to put some of that attention (maybe a lot actually) on myself because I deserve it too.  I deserve to love the person I am…..but I don’t.  Everyday I pray that I will start fixing the broken things about myself.  Everyday I go to sleep kicking myself for another failed day when it comes to those things I swore I would fix.  Everyday I live with such negativity about me.  *sigh*

All I can do though is to try every day to make a change….even a small change….and make it became a new reality for myself.  Small things can add up to huge changes they say.

 

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2012 in Life, Random Rant

 

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Insert Catchie (Catchy) Post Title Here

I can never figure out any catchie (catchy) post title.  How do people come up with clever titles?  It’s beyond me.

Have you been watching the Olympics?  I do some but I’m not a crazy, must-watch every second kind of gal.  I like to watch swimming or anything pool related.  Last night was the synchronized men’s diving which I had never heard of before.  It’s now a new favorite of mine and the men look oh so nice in their teeny-tiny suits.  In fact, butt-crack isn’t so bad on their bodies!!  Oops, let’s focus again.  Swimming is awesome!  My daughter swam on a team for a couple of years and I loved watching her.  For some stupid reason, I let her quit and now I can’t get her to go back. I chalk it up to a moment of stupid parenting.  Did you know they had kayaking as an event?  I had no idea.  That course they built was pretty cool though!

Now for a quick update on the MS stuff….  Several weeks back I started drinking pop (you may know this as soda but it is pop where I’m from) and tea.  Stupid me.  My body can’t handle the carbonation or the caffeine.  I have adverse effects immediately just from drinking 8oz.  Well, when I get back to drinking them then I drink more and more.  Yesterday, I put a stop to that.  Water is now my go to drink and honestly I feel so much better when I am drinking that.  I’m having the crappy, nasty headaches associated to the withdrawal though.  Last night had a doozie.  If I hadn’t stopped drinking that stuff yesterday I would have thought the headache last night was MS related but it wasn’t.  Thanks goodness.   I’ve been having joint pain and some fatigue but I think that is completely related to what I’ve been eating.

I’m also attempting (this has to be like the 156,789th time I’ve attempted) to change my eating.  Lately I can’t seem to stomach cooking meat at home.  It is grossing me out.  I used to only have that squeamish feeling around chicken but now it is everything.  I can eat meat that someone else cooks without a problem but even heating something up in the microwave at home is disgusting me.  So, I’m leaning towards eating things that are ‘real’ food.  I’m not being fanatical about it though but I’m trying to choose real fruits and real veggies.  I’ll eat real butter or real cheese (which I hardly ever eat anyway).  I will probably eat tuna from a can some times.  I’ve always noticed that eating processed foods do not fill me up so I eat and eat.  If I eat a real food, I actually can feel full.  Sugar makes my feel like crap even though I love it.  Will I never have a sugary thing again?  No, but I don’t have to have it every hour!!!

This is also the first week I am trying to go workout after work each day.  Yesterday I found my favorite equipment called the Arc Trainer.  I can’t do the Elliptical as it hurts my knees and ankles but the Arc Trainer works well for me.  I prefer it over any of the others including a Treadmill.

Oh well, that’s all I’m writing about today.  Not very exciting but it never is.  Oh, just remembered. I ordered copies of my first MRI and the latest MRI for myself.  I wanted to be able to really look at the images and see the spots (lesions).  Just a few minutes in a doctor’s office doesn’t really help me ‘see’ what is going on.  Now I will have them to ponder over all I want!!

 
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Posted by on July 31, 2012 in Life, Multiple Sclerosis, Random Rant

 

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What’s up!

It’s been almost a week since being off the Betaseron medication.  I’ve noticed that my non-stop eating has slowed some.  I get full now whereas on the medication there was no such thing.  I’ve also noticed that my joint and muscle pains are minimal and energy is way up.  YAY!  I almost feel human again.  Well, in this one tiny aspect I do.  I’m happy and relieved I’m not taking anything right now.

I’ve decided to really strip down all the pills I take that a prescriptions.  I was taking a muscle relaxant at bedtime but have eliminated that.  The synthroid I have to keep taking for my thyroid.  And I’ve stopped taking…oh wait, there isn’t anything else I take!  WOOHOO!

I hate medication.  It has screwed up my life so many times.  Now I’m having to deal with the lasting effects of Betaseron where I put on a ton of weight.  I’m fat people!  I hate going out in public and will try to get out of it if I can.  I don’t really care about going to work because they see me constantly so there isn’t that much embarrassment around it.  But everywhere else….ugh, I cringe at the thought.  Even if it is just to go see family members it’s bad.  I think that is even worse than strangers. Let me think about that….Yep, that is worse.   God forbid I meet someone I haven’t seen in years!!

I’ve dealt with weight issues in the past but never to this extreme.  I tend to put on weight when I’m not happy.  I haven’t been happy for many years now.  So, I was already heavier than I should have been.  Then this whole fiasco since February of this year.  *sigh*

I am contemplating the whole membership to a fitness center again.  Of course, I always contemplate lots of things then proceed with paying for it and never ended up going.  What a waste of money.  I guess I need a workout / diet / good friend, buddy that doesn’t know me at all.  That way I know there are no preconceived notions they already harbor about me in their head.  I don’t have to worry about what they say to so and so or how they perceive me.  A total random person that is in the same situation as me.  Maybe if I start going to the fitness center I will be brave enough to strike up a conversation (THAT will be hard for me in and of itself.  I am like a social outcast and have no idea how to just strike up conversations with strangers OR even people really close to me!  I’m a total introvert) with someone already there and see if I can get a support system in place.  Someone that is in the same boat as me.

My wish right now is to get rid of the weight once and for all and not have to berate myself every single moment of every single day.  Hell, maybe I’ll actually start being happier and start taking action to live my life!

 

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2012 in Life, Random Rant

 

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Water to the Rescue?

I became intrigued immediately by JuicingMyMS‘s blog post about water.

Water. Yep, water.

I know I should be drinking water. Up until this past September, water and tea were the only things I drank. But then Cancun happened. A vacation in sunny, HOT, Cancun. Did you know they have Coca-Cola there that is how they used to make it BEFORE there was high-fructose corn syrup? I didn’t but I found out and let me tell you IT IS AWESOME!!!! The flavor rocks!! So anyway, I came back with an addiction to pop (soda or whatever you call it). I’ve been drinking it ever sense.

What happened to the water? Well, I turned a cold shoulder to it as if it were in the same category now as an ex. To be totally forgotten! Was I too harsh? Um, yea, I do believe so.

I forgot that water is my friend. Without it, I get the dreaded Elephant Skin. I’m sure there are many things I feel physically that can be attributed to the lack of drinking water. AND, I know for a fact that drinking pop makes me act like a mad woman flipping out at the drop of a hat with no reason. (It’s not like I was poked with a stick or something. ha).

Since I’m a bookie ( a person that loves to read not the ‘other‘ type of bookie), I ordered three books about the miracle of water. Maybe water is the miracle I’ve been looking for on so many levels. It could be (or not)! But I don’t think it will hurt me. Pop is probably (definitely) hurting my body.

After ordering the books I promptly filled my 64oz mega water jug and have been sipping on it ever since. (I did have a coca-cola at 5:00am this morning though but I hadn’t been persuaded about the goodness of water yet from JuicingMyMs so I’m cutting myself slack on this one.) I’m going to strive to drink only water and tea (decaffeinated or herbal) from this point on. This is a babystep for me to try to fix my eating and start taking better care of myself. It seems more important to me now with this MS crap.

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2012 in Random Rant

 

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Tellin It Like It Is!

This is how I feel today:  “Tellin It Like It Is”  

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2012 in Random Rant

 

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