Random Rant: I will do this!

Right now, this very instant at 5:09AM I am determined to only drink either a Naked Green Machine drink or herbal teas throughout the day at work.  I will not stop at McDonalds for a tea and whatever else decides to jump into my car and make me eat it.  I will not search out food at work including the break room.  I will drink hot tea and water when I feel the urge to chew something.  This minute….right now…this is my plan.  Fingers crossed that this one day I can succeed.

Update
• 7:04am: I succeeded in avoiding McDonalds or any other place that I tend to stop and get something quick and bad for me. I drank my Naked Green Machine. Right now I’m drinking hot green tea with truvia. So far I have absolutely no cravings or desire to eat anything bad. I will do this! (I hope)
• 9:05am: So far so good.  I’ve even stayed away from the pastries and crackers in the break room today (free for all).  On my second 16oz hot tea but this time it is a blend made by Herbalife (which I failed out horribly when I tried that ‘diet’ before Christmas.  I have lots of the tea because my sister (who is very successful with the program) doesn’t like the tea. I do like it.  Not sure how lunch will go.  I have another 1/2 bottle of Green Machine with me but I also have a chocolate Shakeology drink mix I can have.  I’ll probably go with that I imagine.  I honestly can’t believe I have lasted 4 hours so far.  This is nothing short of amazing for me.  *smile*
• 1:00pm FAILURE. Cake brought in to work. Couldn’t resist. *sigh* I ate from that point on. Grrrrrr.

 

Day Whatever: Patiently Waiting

For the last several days I have been patiently waiting to hear from the Betaseron people about copay assistance.  Still waiting and waiting.  I guess I should just chill as it really hasn’t been that many days.  *sigh*   Today I tried to call them though…..about 5 times.  Each time the message just said all the people were busy (they didn’t actually say ‘people’ but my memory is crap for details so nevermind).  I guess today was not the day that I should talk with them.  Fate I say.

People have been asking me how the shots are going and if I have any side affects.  ‘I’m doing just great.  In fact I can’t even feel the shots.  Oh, wait.  That could be because I haven’t started yet’ , I say.   LOL!  I did get the cool training kit with the awesome shot injector.  (Yes, I actually think it is pretty cool! Such pretty colors!!).  I also got the container that looks like a gas can but is actually for the used needles or something.  ha ha  They are both sitting on my dining room table because we don’t ever use it and it is so convenient for me to remember where something is.  😀

As time has been ticking off since my diagnosis, I am wondering more and more about this medication.  I’m having second thoughts on taking it or another like it.  I don’t like taking a lot of drugs. So many side affects and warnings of death it seems with everything on the market these days.  Oh, and what’s with advertising drugs on TV??  Shouldn’t these be banned along with the cigarette ads of days gone by?  I feel like the companies are just pushing this stuff on people.  Do people actually go to their doctor and ask for a drug by name?  ‘Oh, I saw an advertisement on TV last night that claims it is the wonder drug for happiness but with some minor side affects of depression, thoughts of suicide, possibility of heart attack and death are not uncommon.  But, hey that sounds good and I want some right now!!’  Does this really happen?

On a totally different string of thought, but actually related (just wait and see), I decided to cruise the web today and look up natural ways to suppress my appetite.  I have been eating non-stop for days, days, day and I don’t get full…just fatter.  So I find that there are a few herbs such as chickweed, fennel, and bee pollen that can help.  ‘Hey, bee pollen?’ I say to myself.  Hmmm, I remember reading something awhile back regarding MS and bee pollen as I know that I mentioned it to my sister (that also has MS) or I thought  I would but who knows if I actually did.  So I keep searching and there are little blurbs about it possibly helping MS. (See, there is that connection I told you to wait for!)   So, that has made me want to get bee pollen because it will help with (possibly) two issues I’m facing:  1)  inability to stop eating everything and 2) reduce and possibly(?) help repair or prevent or who knows what the right word is…..just benefit people with MS somehow.    I’m all over this and gung-ho about it now.  I even decided to call my doctor and ask if there were any alternative natural treatments available for MS rather than taking a fabricated drug.  Why didn’t I think to ask this before?  I have no freakin idea.  I expect I’ll hear back from the nurse tomorrow since I just left a message for them to call and what it was about.  I have that gut instinct that something isn’t quite sitting right with me and the medication.  Maybe it is just because I’m anxious or nervous about it or maybe it is instinct to listen to. (I totally believe in gut instincts as they have saved me so many many times in the past.)

I do hate taking medications.  At one point in if my life I was taking over 20 pills a day.  Those pills didn’t fix me.  They screwed my body up and I’ve been dealing with issues ever sense.  I stopped them gradually over time and eliminated all but one within a year. I felt so much better.  I was a walking, talking, driving zombie.  It was definitely not cool.  So, I’m feeling apprehensive about these shots.  Hell, I won’t even get a flu shot anymore because of the crap I imagine they are adding to them each year before testing for a long period of time.  It seems all these new miracle drugs come out and then next thing you know you see class action suits come up for them.  If I really wanted to freak myself out I just wonder if maybe, just maybe, some combination of drug I’ve taken in the past may have contributed to me actually getting MS.  Who knows?  It could have happened….or not.