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Monthly Archives: January 2012

Random Rant: I will do this!

Right now, this very instant at 5:09AM I am determined to only drink either a Naked Green Machine drink or herbal teas throughout the day at work.  I will not stop at McDonalds for a tea and whatever else decides to jump into my car and make me eat it.  I will not search out food at work including the break room.  I will drink hot tea and water when I feel the urge to chew something.  This minute….right now…this is my plan.  Fingers crossed that this one day I can succeed.

    Update

  • 7:04am: I succeeded in avoiding McDonalds or any other place that I tend to stop and get something quick and bad for me. I drank my Naked Green Machine. Right now I’m drinking hot green tea with truvia. So far I have absolutely no cravings or desire to eat anything bad. I will do this! (I hope)
  • 9:05am: So far so good.  I’ve even stayed away from the pastries and crackers in the break room today (free for all).  On my second 16oz hot tea but this time it is a blend made by Herbalife (which I failed out horribly when I tried that ‘diet’ before Christmas.  I have lots of the tea because my sister (who is very successful with the program) doesn’t like the tea. I do like it.  Not sure how lunch will go.  I have another 1/2 bottle of Green Machine with me but I also have a chocolate Shakeology drink mix I can have.  I’ll probably go with that I imagine.  I honestly can’t believe I have lasted 4 hours so far.  This is nothing short of amazing for me.  *smile*
  • 1:00pm FAILURE. Cake brought in to work. Couldn’t resist. *sigh* I ate from that point on. Grrrrrr.
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Posted by on January 31, 2012 in Random Rant

 

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Day Whatever: Patiently Waiting

For the last several days I have been patiently waiting to hear from the Betaseron people about copay assistance.  Still waiting and waiting.  I guess I should just chill as it really hasn’t been that many days.  *sigh*   Today I tried to call them though…..about 5 times.  Each time the message just said all the people were busy (they didn’t actually say ‘people’ but my memory is crap for details so nevermind).  I guess today was not the day that I should talk with them.  Fate I say.

People have been asking me how the shots are going and if I have any side affects.  ‘I’m doing just great.  In fact I can’t even feel the shots.  Oh, wait.  That could be because I haven’t started yet’ , I say.   LOL!  I did get the cool training kit with the awesome shot injector.  (Yes, I actually think it is pretty cool! Such pretty colors!!).  I also got the container that looks like a gas can but is actually for the used needles or something.  ha ha  They are both sitting on my dining room table because we don’t ever use it and it is so convenient for me to remember where something is.  😀

As time has been ticking off since my diagnosis, I am wondering more and more about this medication.  I’m having second thoughts on taking it or another like it.  I don’t like taking a lot of drugs. So many side affects and warnings of death it seems with everything on the market these days.  Oh, and what’s with advertising drugs on TV??  Shouldn’t these be banned along with the cigarette ads of days gone by?  I feel like the companies are just pushing this stuff on people.  Do people actually go to their doctor and ask for a drug by name?  ‘Oh, I saw an advertisement on TV last night that claims it is the wonder drug for happiness but with some minor side affects of depression, thoughts of suicide, possibility of heart attack and death are not uncommon.  But, hey that sounds good and I want some right now!!’  Does this really happen?

On a totally different string of thought, but actually related (just wait and see), I decided to cruise the web today and look up natural ways to suppress my appetite.  I have been eating non-stop for days, days, day and I don’t get full…just fatter.  So I find that there are a few herbs such as chickweed, fennel, and bee pollen that can help.  ‘Hey, bee pollen?’ I say to myself.  Hmmm, I remember reading something awhile back regarding MS and bee pollen as I know that I mentioned it to my sister (that also has MS) or I thought  I would but who knows if I actually did.  So I keep searching and there are little blurbs about it possibly helping MS. (See, there is that connection I told you to wait for!)   So, that has made me want to get bee pollen because it will help with (possibly) two issues I’m facing:  1)  inability to stop eating everything and 2) reduce and possibly(?) help repair or prevent or who knows what the right word is…..just benefit people with MS somehow.    I’m all over this and gung-ho about it now.  I even decided to call my doctor and ask if there were any alternative natural treatments available for MS rather than taking a fabricated drug.  Why didn’t I think to ask this before?  I have no freakin idea.  I expect I’ll hear back from the nurse tomorrow since I just left a message for them to call and what it was about.  I have that gut instinct that something isn’t quite sitting right with me and the medication.  Maybe it is just because I’m anxious or nervous about it or maybe it is instinct to listen to. (I totally believe in gut instincts as they have saved me so many many times in the past.)

I do hate taking medications.  At one point in if my life I was taking over 20 pills a day.  Those pills didn’t fix me.  They screwed my body up and I’ve been dealing with issues ever sense.  I stopped them gradually over time and eliminated all but one within a year. I felt so much better.  I was a walking, talking, driving zombie.  It was definitely not cool.  So, I’m feeling apprehensive about these shots.  Hell, I won’t even get a flu shot anymore because of the crap I imagine they are adding to them each year before testing for a long period of time.  It seems all these new miracle drugs come out and then next thing you know you see class action suits come up for them.  If I really wanted to freak myself out I just wonder if maybe, just maybe, some combination of drug I’ve taken in the past may have contributed to me actually getting MS.  Who knows?  It could have happened….or not.

 
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Posted by on January 30, 2012 in Multiple Sclerosis

 

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Day 19: Dry as the Desert but Found Some Green

I’ve been feeling pretty good the last several days so didn’t think I needed to bitch and moan on my blog.  lol.

Anywho, I did get approved by insurance to start Betaseron.  Today I got the call from the person that will train me on how to do the injection.  This may freak out the majority of people, but I have absolutely no qualms about it.  I just wish I was already started just because I’m not a patient person.  Having to wait for the approval was annoying.  Now I have to wait fo the training kit and the medicine to show up before I can call the trainer back to schedule the appointment.  At least this is all done in my own home.  That totally rocks!  I guess I’m supposed to get a call from the reimbursement office also from the med company.  I hope they call soon and tell me good news about that.  Fingers crossed it will be fine.  Oh and I have to get my labs done soon soon soon.  (If my daughter wasn’t sick today and I didn’t have to stay in convenient care with her for over 2 hours maybe I would have accomplished that today.)

I’ve been getting some killer headaches in the middle of the night.  I’m pretty sure I brought them on from getting dehydrated.  Stupid me.  I should have known better since first my heels cracked, then my lips got all raggedy, and then dry skin.  Yep, pretty sure I was sucked dry and once I started drinking water I started feeling better with that.  The only other things going on is that I’ve been bitchy irritable…..for no reason.  I really turn nasty at the drop of a hat.  No, wait…dropping a hat takes longer than it does me biting your head off.  Grrrr, I say!    What else?  Hmmm, well my speech is kind of choppy and abrupt stops to the sounds.  Kind of hard to describe that.  I also get exhausted out of the blue.  One minute I’m fine and the next I can barely keep my eyes open.  Lasts about 30 minutes each time.  I would love to just take a nap each time but that doesn’t happen in the real world.

I just couldn’t resist taking a bath the last two nights BUT I did go with only warm water.  It wasn’t bad at all.   I’d prefer super hot, but I think I could live with this on occasion.  I just couldn’t bear seeing my giant tub anymore.  I caved!

I tried a ‘green’ drink today.  It was the Naked Juice:  Green Machine.  It looks totally disgusting so I didn’t look.  I just drank from the bottle.  It was actually good but really sweet which I thought was totally weird.  Anywho.  This drink has fruits (of course) but also has some funky ingredients that I never thought would be okay in a drink.  It has broccolli, spinach, algae, wheatgrass, parsley and many other funky stuff.    I have no idea if there is enough of that stuff to get any good healthy benefits or as much green goodness as I should, BUT I figure it has to have some benefit for me.  What I do like about it is that I don’t have to make it and it is not a powder.  Quick and easy to grab and go.  So I went and bought 3 more for the rest of the week (2 servings per bottle).  I need to really straighten out my eating.  Such a freakin struggle as I really dislike so many things.  I’m trying to eat more protein and throw some green things in there too.  Stopping all the sugar is a must but I’m totally addicted and I really don’t want to give it up (because I’m addicted).  *sigh*  A struggle.

I’m cutting out so many extra-curricular activities.  Anything and everything is going if it can.  My stress levels are already decreasing.  I hope it stays that way.

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2012 in Multiple Sclerosis

 

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Unrelated Rant

I am thinking I do not like the theme I chose for this blog.  Therefore, I will be changing it around sometime in the near future.  It is so HARD to find share buttons or add plugins I want.  Pffff, I need to do my own custom header anyway.  The only reason I chose this theme was because I liked the font styling.  Still do in fact, but not liking the other pieces.

There, I’m done with my frustration on this subject. *smile*

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2012 in Random Rant

 

Day 12: Take that BP! HA

My Bell’s Palsy stuff is GONE!!!  YAY!!!!!!  Yesterday was the first day I felt back to normal.  I can even drive without feeling vertigo stuff.   Whew, what a relief it is over.

When you have something like BP on top of MS it is certainly hard to figure out what symptom goes with what.  For the most part, the really annoying things are gone. Now I’m left with some slight garbling of my words when I talk (saying the wrong word or mispronouncing) and some nights I’ve been getting the dreaded headache that wakes me up in the middle of the night. Good news about that is if I just get up, usually it will go away in about 1/2 hour. What’s with that?  The only thing I think could be is maybe dehydration.  I’m a bad bad girl as I haven’t been drinking water.  For shame!  *smile*

Since MS can be triggered or exacerbated by stress, I’ve been trying to eliminate a whole bunch of stuff.  You see, I’ve been on a rampaging, never stop running around schedule since…well, probably 2007.  I keep getting my daughter involved in things and trying to get her to be open to trying new things because when I was a kid (and adult I admit) I cringed at new things.  I may have wanted to do them deep down, but I was so scared of the unknown.  So to not have my daughter live in that type of fear and really explore new things I would sign her up, sign her up, sign her up!!!  Now I have to stop that.  Just stop an smell the roses permanently and maybe do a few things once and awhile rather than every night.  I believe this has already started working for me as I feel much more calm about things in general.  Who would have thought I would feel like this right after being diagnosed with MS?!

Things I’ve done to de-stress:

1.  No more guitar lessons for bugaboo (my 11yr old daughter).  It was quite clear that this really cool thing she wanted to learn how to do was probably something she didn’t want to do any more.  She wasn’t practicing at all (or if she did she would for 5 minutes and say she was through.  *ugh*).  So, I told her to think over it and let me know if she wanted to continue.  Several days later she said nope and she was sorry.  She didn’t want me to be mad.  Hell, I was glad to be done with the cost involved and the running around!!

2.  No more swimming technical training practice for bugaboo.  She contemplated on this decision for about a week.  I wanted her to tell me if she would ever competitively swim again.  Unfortunately, not which makes me sad because she was a talented swimmer.  Oh well.  One less things that saves money & time.

3.  No more choir for me.  This one I had to make the decision.  I noticed that I was having some difficulty with seeing the words to sing and when my speech got messed up that my singing would too.  How annoying to sit there and be frustrated.  I miss my friends though and I do love to sing.  But for the time being it was causing me too much stress.

4.  Next year the bugaboo’s activities are going to be thought out carefully before making any decision.    Right now I’m imagining a world with only school activities.  We shall see.

5.  College courses for me.  I usually take three courses each semester to finish up several web certifications.  This time I have 2 (because the stupid school wouldn’t let me take the last 2 in addition because of something to do with how many credits I still have left and them allowing me to have the student loan).  I had to fight with the school to allow me those 2 courses.  I almost decided just to drop them all and be done but I didn’t.  I hope the semester is easy for me and goes quickly like last semester.

De-stressing is very calming so far.  I’ve always needed to have fifty thousand things on my plate.  I’m trying hard to not do that any more.

 

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2012 in Multiple Sclerosis

 

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Weekly Recap

Weekly recap from me to you from the various minds of me...

 

From One Step Leads to Thousands blog.


From Giggle, Lauch, Cry blog where I just ramble about nothingness.

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2012 in Weekly Recap

 

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Day 10: What? What? Bubbles to be history?

CRAP!  Last  night as I sat soaking in a hot bubble bath (because baths are awesome and I have a huge tub and it is the bestest thing ever!!  My total relaxation…totally) I was reading the book I mentioned in my post yesterday:  Day 9: What Shall I Read?  Guess what I stumbled across and read??  I was horrified by this. Can you guess?  NO MORE HOT BATHS as it, for some reason, can make MS start blazing.  No, NO, NOOOOO!!!!!!  How can this be?  This just sucks!!!  It says to relax in a nice tepid or lukewarm bath to relax but never hot baths.  Who the hell wants to take a tepid or lukewarm bath???  NOT ME!  Ick!!!  (Damn, I use exclamation marks a lot.)

I’m mad at that book now.  It has taken the one thing I look forward to almost every night and eliminated it.  Just like that.  No warning at all.

Maybe I should be more concerned (worried?) about other things in the book but this one small sentence is what did it for me.   The mystery of this illness and how it will affect me is not bothering me but not taking my long, glorious bath (while reading a book) is devastating.  *sigh*  I guess I’ll clean the giant beast bathtub one last time and retire it.  Ooohh, I’ve got an idea!  Maybe I’ll fill it in with plants!!!  HA

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2012 in Multiple Sclerosis

 

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